19.4 Identity
The Human Development Teaching & Learning Group
Learning Objectives
- Summarize the four identity statuses Marcia posits
- In what domains does identity development take place?
What is identity?
One of the fascinating things about human psychology is our ability to reflect on ourselves as objects of our own thinking. We have seen how this ability makes it possible, starting in early childhood, to have thoughts about the self and to develop a self-concept that includes the “I” self and the “Me” self. In adolescence, our thinking about ourselves begins to involve more abstract categories and characteristics. Identity occurs in multiple areas of our life. These domains include academic, religious, ethnic, and social identity. Identity encompasses our personal preferences and characteristics and our group memberships.
Identity has been described as the individual’s answer to the question, “Who am I?” It has been depicted as a mental structure or representation of the self. But identity is only partially about who and what we are. It also includes what we do, what we like, and even how we feel. So identity is more than a mental model. It is full of meanings, emotions, desires, and goals. Identity is only partially stable, because it is also flexible across situations and malleable over time. Identity is somewhat like a thing and a lot like a process. It is our conceptualization of a network of associations and mental events that we use to think about and talk about ourselves and other people.
The multiple personal and social identities we hold play out in a variety of domains and situations in complex ways. One way in which we incorporate the social world into our views of ourselves is through our positionality in the social hierarchies in our society. This suggests that a useful approach to understanding this complexity and unraveling some of the interconnections is to examine identity in terms of the intersections between aspects of our positions, such as where we fall in terms of race, gender, and class (Crenshaw, 1989; 1991). From this perspective, it is the intersection among our positions on these hierarchies (as well as others, such as immigrant and disability status, age, and so on) that influence our experiences (e.g., the conditions under which we live, the opportunities we enjoy, and how we are treated) as well as how we see ourselves (based in part on society’s messages about our value). For example, the experiences of black women may be different in many ways from those of black men. And the experiences of rich black women will be different from those lower in socioeconomic status. These experiences involve overlapping and interacting systems of social structure and meaning, where layers of identity are not just additive or compounded, but instead create specific niches that are emergent and unique (as well as changing as society’s prejudices and hierarchies shift). The intersectionality approach has been applied in research on identity processes, antecedents, and consequences, and has resulted in many fascinating and unexpected empirical findings.
Some researchers who study the self insist that it is not a fixed entity or trait at all, but instead a dynamic system that is held in place partly by our beliefs that it is real. From this perspective, a possible direction for identity development would be to “get over” or “transcend” the ego-centric idea of a unitary isolated self, and expand one’s dynamic agentic presence to connect with other people, the natural world, and the past and future. What a mind-blowing idea!
Exploration and commitment
Erikson believed that the primary psychosocial task of adolescence was establishing an identity. Expanding on Erikson’s theory, James Marcia (2010) identified two key processes of identity development: exploration and commitment. By exploration, he meant the processes though which youth imagine, consider, try out, and try on different possible facets of their identity, experimenting with a variety of attitudes, looks, activities, friends, school subjects, and hobbies. If you happen to have photos of yourself at ages 13, 14, 15, and 16, you may see some pretty big changes in the way you were dressing and acting at those ages. Those different “personas” you were trying on, that would be a process of exploration. Exploration of different facets of identity may also be staggered over the adolescent, emerging adulthood, and early adult years (and beyond) as you initially work on appearance, attitude, and friendships, and then move on to romantic relationships and vocation. Commitment refers to a consolidation and acceptance of who you truly are, as you begin to recognize, understand, and feel comfortable with your multi-faceted authentic self, both in its individual facets (e.g., of personality, sexual orientation, ethnic/racial, gender identity, and so on) and in an overall picture of how each of those dimensions of identity fit together, complement each other, and are integrated (e.g., how your sexual orientation fits with your religious beliefs). You can see why the process of commitment is an ongoing work in progress for so many years!
Marcia identified four identity statuses that represent the four possible combinations of the dimensions of commitment and exploration (see Table 19.3). You can think of them as snapshots of where adolescents and young adults are in the identity development process at any given moment.
Table 19.3 Marcia’s Four Identity Statuses
| Exploration | |||
| Commitment to an identity | Absent | Present | |
| Absent | Identity diffusion | Identity moratorium | |
| Present | Identity foreclosure | Identity achievement |
adapted from Lally & Valentine-French, 2019.
The least mature status, and one common in many children, is identity diffusion. Identity diffusion is a status that characterizes those who have neither explored their options, nor made a commitment to an identity. Those who persist in this identity throughout adolescence and young adulthood have basically not taken on the crucial developmental task of grappling with who they are and who they want to become, so they run the risk of drifting aimlessly with little connection to those around them or having little sense of purpose in life.
Those in identity foreclosure have made a commitment to an identity without having explored the options. Some parents may make these decisions for their children and do not grant their teen the opportunity to participate in these choices. In other instances, teens may strongly identify with parents and others in their life and wish to follow in their footsteps. The potential problems with foreclosure are twofold. On the one hand, without active exploration, the adolescent or young adult may have missed the opportunity to really get to know themselves– their passions, preferences, and interests in life. Without this information, they may make a commitment to a (vocational, sexual, political, etc.) identity that is not really a good fit for their true self. On the other hand, even if the identity to which they are committed is authentic, it is possible that, without active and intentional consideration of multiple alternatives, their commitment may not be as strong or durable.
Identity moratorium is a status that describes those who are activity exploring in an attempt to construct an identity but have yet to make any commitment. This can be an anxious and emotionally tense time as the adolescent experiments with different roles and explores various beliefs. Nothing is certain and there are many questions, but few answers. As discussed later, identity development is a highly social process, influenced by parents, extended family, peers, friends, classmates, teachers, coaches, mentors, social media, and societal messages. For many adolescents, aspects of their identity are not necessarily viewed as acceptable by these social partners. For example, an adolescent who has a passion for art and theatre is part of an extended family who expects her to go into medicine or business. Such mismatches between internal information about who you feel you really are and what the social world wants you to be can extend the period of moratorium for specific aspects of identity development, while the adolescent or young adult attempts to negotiate and reconcile these mismatches.
Identity achievement refers to those who after exploration have made a commitment. This is a long process and, as mentioned previously, is not typically achieved by the end of adolescence.
Changes in identity status
During high school and the college years, teens and young adults move from identity diffusion and foreclosure toward moratorium and achievement. The biggest gains in the development of identity typically take place in college, as college students are exposed to a greater variety of career choices, lifestyles, and beliefs. Exposure to so many alternatives is likely to spur questions regarding identity. A great deal of the identity work we do in adolescence and young adulthood is about values and goals, as we strive to articulate a personal vision or dream for what we hope to accomplish in the future (McAdams, 2013). During these later periods, emerging adults also focus some of their energy in the task of identity development on achieving more coherence and integration among the different facets of one’s identity, striving to fit passions (like music) into a vocation that will support them financially, or finding a balance between family, school, and work.
Even after an identity has been established, life events during adulthood and even into old age can reignite the process of identity development. For example, when a middle-aged man loses his job and it seems as if that line of work is being phased out, he may begin the process of reimagining a new vocational identity. Or when a middle-aged woman’s children move out of the house, she may begin to rekindle the parts of her identity that were fascinated by creative writing or building a business. Retirement is a common time for couples to figure out who they want to be and what they want to do in the next chapter of their lives.
Because identity development can be considered an ongoing process that we revisit and re-examine at many times in our lives, researchers have given this process its own name: MAMA cycling or moving back and forth between moratorium and achievement. This cycling between exploration and achievement is common in identity formation (Grotevant, 1987) and considered a normal and healthy process of development.
Watch It
This video takes a deeper look at Marcia’s theory of identity development and relates the four identity statuses to college students figuring out their major.
You can view the transcript for “James Marcia’s Adolescent Identity Development” here (opens in new window).
Try It
Facets of Identity Development
Developmental psychologists have researched multiple different areas of identity development. Some of the main areas include:
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Ethnic-Racial identity refers to how people come to terms with who they are based on their ethnic and/or racial ancestry. “The task of ethnic identity formation involves sorting out and resolving positive and negative feelings and attitudes about one’s own ethnic group and about other groups and identifying one’s place in relation to both” (Phinney, 2006, p. 119). When groups differ in status in a culture, those from the non-dominant group are typically cognizant of the customs and values of those from the dominant culture. The reverse is rarely the case. This makes ethnic-racial identity far less salient for members of the dominant culture. In the United States, those of European ancestry engage in less exploration of ethnic-racial identity, than do those of non-European ancestry (Phinney, 1989). However, according to the U.S. Census (2012) more than 40% of Americans under the age of 18 are from ethnic and racial minorities. For many ethnic and racial minority teens, discovering one’s ethnic-racial identity is an important part of identity formation.
- Cultural/Bicultural/Multiracial Identity. Ethnic minorities must wrestle with the question of how, and to what extent, they will identify with the culture of their family and with the dominant culture of the surrounding society. Phinney (2006) suggests that people may handle this negotiation in different ways. Some may keep these identities separate, others may combine them in some way, while others may reject some of them. Bicultural identity means the individual sees himself or herself as part of both the ethnic minority group and the larger society. Those who are multiracial, that is whose parents come from two or more ethnic or racial groups, have a more challenging task in current society. In some cases, their appearance may be ambiguous. This can lead to others constantly asking them to categorize themselves. Phinney (2006) notes that the process of identity formation may start earlier and take longer to accomplish in those who are not mono-racial. For both multicultural and multiracial adolescents, the task of identity development is made more complicated by society’s current difficulty in recognizing these identities as legitimate. Some adolescents are continually asked “No, which one are you really?” or are categorized according to their phenotypic appearance. Sometimes their identity is challenged if they do not embody the prototype of a category (e.g., are not fluent in their heritage language). Luckily, society is starting to shift in its understanding of multi-ethnic, -racial, and -cultural identities, as seen, for example, in questions about race/ethnicity, where people are allowed to “check all that apply” instead of being forced to select only one category.
It is also important to note that those who do commit to an ethnic-racial identity may periodically reexamine the issues of race and ethnicity. It is especially common to do so when you have children, at which time you may reflect on the values, history, and traditions of your ethnic and racial heritage that you wish to pass on to your children. This cycling between exploration and achievement is common not only for racial and ethnic identity formation, but in other aspects of identity development (Grotevant, 1987) and as mentioned previously is referred to as MAMA cycling.
- Gender identity: Acquiring a gender identity is becoming an increasingly prolonged task as attitudes and norms regarding gender keep changing. The roles appropriate for males and females are evolving, and the lack of a gender binary allow adolescents more freedom to explore various aspects of gender. Some teens may foreclose on a gender identity as a way of dealing with this uncertainty, and they may adopt more stereotypic male or female roles (Sinclair & Carlsson, 2013). For youth who attend college, exposure to a wider variety of options and role models may allow them to re-open questions about their own gender identity, initiating further exploration and new commitments.
- Sexual identity: According to Carroll (2016), by age 14 most adolescents become interested in intimate relationships, and they may begin sexual experimentation. Many adolescent feel pressure to express interest in opposite-sex relationships, even if they are not ready to do so. This pressure can be especially stressful for those adolescents who are gay, lesbian, bisexual or questioning their sexual identity. Many non-heterosexual adolescents struggle with negative peer and family reactions during their exploration. A lack of parental acceptance can have especially adverse effects on the gay, lesbian or bisexual adolescent’s emerging sexual identity, and can result in feelings of self-doubt, depression, and alienation. In cases where families are unsupportive, adolescents may seek support from online communities or wait until they leave home to work on this aspect of their identity. In contrast, adolescents whose families and peers support open exploration of their sexual identities have better psychological and mental health outcomes.
- Vocational identity. While adolescents in earlier generations envisioned themselves as working in a particular job, and often worked as an apprentice or part-time in such occupations as teenagers, this is rarely the case today. Vocational identity takes longer to develop, as most of today’s occupations require specific skills and knowledge that will require additional education or are acquired on the job itself. In addition, many of the jobs held by teens are not in occupations that most teens will seek as adults. Rapid changes in the nature of employment, and the fact that most adults will hold multiple jobs over their working lives, also suggest that this identity may be re-negotiated several times over the lifespan.
- Religious identity. Adolescence is a time when teens normatively question their participation in religious practices. At the same time, most teens end up adopting religious views that are similar to those of their families (Kim-Spoon, Longo, & McCullough, 2012). Most teens may question specific customs, practices, or ideas in the faith of their parents, but few completely reject the religion of their families.
- Political identity. The political ideology of teens is also influenced by their parents’ political beliefs. A new trend in the 21st century is a decrease in party affiliation among adults. Many adults do not align themselves with either the Democratic or Republican parties but view themselves as more of an “independent.” Their teenage children are often following suit or become more apolitical (Côtè, 2006). Trends in voting among young adults suggest that most of them are questioning whether it is meaningful to participate in the current political system.
- Negative Identity. A negative identity is the adoption of norms and values that are the opposite of one’s family and culture, and it is assumed to be one of the more problematic outcomes of identity development in young people (Hihara, Umemura, & Sigimura, 2019). Those with a negative identity hold dichotomous beliefs, and consequently divide the world into two categories (e.g., friend or foe, good or bad). Hihara et al. suggest that this may be because teens with a negative identity cannot integrate information and beliefs that exist in both their inner and outer world. In addition, those with a negative identity are generally hostile and cynical toward society, often because they do not trust the world around them. These beliefs may lead teens to engage in delinquent and criminal behavior and prevent them from engaging in more positive prosocial acts that could be beneficial to society
Link to Learning: Gender Identity and Transgender Individuals
Individuals who identify with a role that is different from their sex assigned at birth are called transgender individuals. Approximately 1.4 million U.S. adults or .6 percent of the population are transgender according to a 2016 report (Flores et al., 2022).
Transgender individuals may choose to alter their bodies through medical interventions such as surgery and hormonal therapy so that their physical being is better aligned with gender identity. They may also be known as male-to-female (MTF) or female-to-male (FTM). Not all transgender individuals choose to alter their bodies; many will maintain their original anatomy but may present themselves to society as another gender. This is typically done by adopting the dress, hairstyle, mannerisms, or other characteristics typically assigned to another gender. It is important to note that people who cross-dress or wear clothing that is traditionally assigned to a different gender is not the same as identifying as trans. Cross-dressing is typically a form of self-expression, entertainment, or personal style, and it is not necessarily an expression against one’s assigned gender (APA 2008).
After years of controversy over the treatment of sex and gender, the 2013 edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders, DSM-5, (and following updates in the DSM-5-TR), responded to allegations that the term “gender identity disorder” was stigmatizing by replacing it with “gender dysphoria.” Gender identity disorder as a diagnostic category stigmatized the patient by implying there was something “disordered” about them. Gender dysphoria, on the other hand, removed some of that stigma by taking the word “disorder” out while maintaining a category that protected patient access to care, including hormone therapy and gender-affirming surgery. According to the DSM-5, gender dysphoria is a condition of people whose gender/sex assigned at birth is contrary to the gender identity they experience. For a person to be diagnosed with gender dysphoria, there must be a marked difference between the individual’s expressed/experienced gender and the gender others would assign them, and it must continue for at least six months. In children, the desire to be of the other gender must be present and verbalized (APA 2013).
Changing the clinical description may contribute to a larger acceptance of transgender people in society. A 2017 poll showed that 54 percent of Americans believe gender is determined by sex assigned at birth and 32 percent say society has “gone too far” in accepting transgender people; views are sharply divided along political and religious lines (Salam, 2018).
Studies show that people who identify as transgender are twice as likely to experience assault or discrimination as nontransgender individuals; they are also one and a half times more likely to experience intimidation (National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs 2010; Giovanniello 2013). Trans women of color are most likely to be victims of abuse. A practice called “deadnaming” by the American Civil Liberties Union, whereby trans people who are murdered are referred to by their birth name and gender, is a discriminatory tool that effectively erases a person’s trans identity and also prevents investigations into their deaths and knowledge of their deaths (Strangio, 2018). Organizations such as the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs and Global Action for Trans Equality work to prevent, respond to, and end all types of violence against transgender and homosexual individuals. These organizations hope that by educating the public about gender identity and empowering transgender individuals, this violence will end.
Developmental Processes in the Task of Identity Formation
All these features of identity have their start in early childhood, as children are taught to make distinctions among identity-relevant categories (e.g., male vs. female or Black vs. Latinx) and then locate themselves among those categories. During early childhood, these processes, sometimes called identification, are largely declarative and descriptive, as children figure out who belongs to which “club” and the concrete differences in club members’ appearance, behaviors, activities, and equipment (e.g., toys, games). Although children notice differences in valence, status, and privileges, it is as if youngsters are just taking notes and not necessarily reflecting on or evaluating the categories to which they have been assigned or the differences in treatment they observe and experience.
However, as the cognitive developments of formal operations begin to emerge during adolescence, thinking becomes more abstract, psychological, complex, and integrated. With increased skills at perspective taking, adolescents are more able to see themselves through the eyes of imagined others, which also makes them more self-aware, self-conscious, self-evaluative, and prone to social comparison. It is as if, during the shift to formal operations, adolescents “wake up” to these features and categories of identity, and how they are viewed in society. This newfound awareness imbues them with deeply personal meaning, value, and emotion. Depending on the messages that children and adolescents have received about their attributes and the categories to which they belong, the process of negotiating an identity can be more or less complex and rocky.
Although the development of an identity of one’s own seems like a very personal and private task, it is also highly social, shaped as much by external and interpersonal factors as it is by internal intrapersonal ones. In fact, we can say that this task is negotiated at the nexus between internal and external forces. Internally, adolescents have access to their history of interests, preferences, impulses, proclivities, temperament, and intrinsic motivations, in other words, all the interactions that provide them with information about the nature of their genuine and authentic self. These experiences are now evaluated more analytically and translated into psychological constructs, like personality traits or values, that are nominated for inclusion into a personal identity. At the same time, this information, much of which is based on social interactions and experiences, is filtered through the lens of the messages adolescents receive about the salience and value of these attributes and identity categories. Society even has opinions about what categories are available for use in constructing identities, for example, as mentioned previously, society is only just catching up with categories like multiracial or multicultural, and multiple genders and sexualities. Close relationships, including relationships with parents, siblings, and other family members, play a major role and as children approach and go through adolescence, peers, friends, and classmates play increasingly important roles as well.
Social Factors in the Development of Identity
To provide a framework for thinking about social factors, we can turn to contextualist views, like Bronfenbrenner’s bioecological model and Spencer’s phenomenological variant of ecological systems theory. These models remind us that ecologies are complex and multi-layered. We can begin by considering the important role of microsystems, like families, peer groups, and schools. But we should also consider mesosystem forces, and especially, factors from macrosystems that are structured according to societal status hierarchies, such as those based on race and ethnicity, class, and gender. We will review some general information about the crucial roles of parents, peers, and schools. And then consider in more detail the development of ethnic and racial identity, where the best research has been conducted to date on the role of societal status hierarchies. This body of research is relatively recent, because developmentalists, who were largely white, did not recognize the centrality of ethnic-racial identity development. We conclude with some thoughts on ethnic-racial identity in white adolescents, about which not much is currently known.
Parents
Much of the research on social influences on identity development focuses on caregivers. When all goes well, caregivers are the ones who can, starting with attachment processes, communicate warmth, affection, and unconditional love. They get to know a child’s inborn temperament, come to value them as complex interesting individuals, and find ways to provide a good match to their idiosyncrasies and quirks. Through emotion coaching, they help children develop the vocabulary to talk about their genuine feelings and desires, and work with them to develop strategies for seeing that their own needs are considered while also considering the needs of others. They provide role models and offer young children opportunities to play, explore their favorite activities, and follow their own interests.
Using the idea of the “styles of parenting,” we can see that adolescents whose parents employ a largely authoritative parenting style, will likely have an easier time with the tasks of identity development. These adolescents have generally received strong messages of love and support for their genuine selves, while also learning how to follow true moral rules and act with kindness, honesty, and responsibility. The role of autonomy support is equally important, as adolescents are given both freedom and parental support when they explore different facets of their personal identities.
It is also clear that other kinds of parenting may contribute to a rockier process of identity development. Parents who are more authoritarian, and do not allow deviation from rigid standards can make it more difficult for children to participate in the exploratory processes that are so central to this task. Strong negative views of particular identities (e.g., sexual orientation, gender, political views) can throw up roadblocks to the adolescent’s authentic self. You can imagine that this style of parenting could lead to premature foreclosure when the adolescent just submits to parental wishes, or moratorium when youth get stuck in committing to an identity they cannot really endorse. Or even rebellion, when adolescents then lose some of the close connections with family that can provide them support during this process.
So called “helicopter” parents, who prevent children from taking risks and trying out new things, likewise curtail independence and exploratory activities, thus interfering with key processes of identity development. There are parts of permissive or indulgent parenting that may seem like they could facilitate identity development (e.g., warmth, love, and a philosophy of “anything goes”) by encouraging children to do whatever feels right to them. However, as we discussed in the lectures on parenting, limits are good for children. Firm and reasonable limits help children learn to get along with others and respect others’ rights. Children with permissive parents tend toward immaturity, self-centeredness, and lack of achievement and mastery. These attributes can interfere with the adolescent’s eventual decisions to commit to values, activities, and relationships that are important parts of identity development.
Finally, neglectful caregivers, who basically ignore children, undermine the development of the security, self-confidence, and self-knowledge adolescents will need to make good decisions about who they are and who they want to become. Sometimes this history can leave adolescents wandering in “identity diffusion” where they are somewhat aimless and do not really take ownership for the next steps in their life.
Peers
Much has been made about the importance of peers to processes of identity development, and for good reason. Relationships with friends and with members of peer groups are an important context for the development of identity during adolescence. Communication and interactions with peers provide opportunities to elaborate on possibilities, play out tentative exploration, and test commitments against others’ perspectives. Friendships and peer groups can be safe contexts for exploration, made up of freely chosen and mutually supportive equals.
Peers are important to all three strands of identity development. In the first strand, the process of self-discovery, adolescents communicate honestly with each other within these relationships. By giving and receiving information, they become more aware of the diversity of characteristics, preferences, and viewpoints found among their agemates. Through this communication, they develop clarity about their own characteristics and get a better sense of who they are. Research has found that adolescents who have higher quality peer relationships, who interact more frequently with their peers, and are more involved in activities with agemates also experience greater identity development and commitment.
In the second strand, as a local social context of being seen, heard, and responded to by others, peer relationships are crucial sources of recognition, validation, and support for autonomy, as well as feedback about social desirability of attributes and preferences. Through processes of mirroring and social comparison, adolescents become aware of both similarities and differences to their own friends and peer groups, and with other agemates. There is a desire to bond with like others and to find affinities, but this does not necessarily lead to blind conformity. Adolescents also embrace ways in which they are individually distinctive. They have a desire to be unique. The dynamic tension between similarity and individuality varies between individuals and changes across development. Most teens seek, to some extent, both to fit in and to stand out. Early adolescents are usually more susceptible to peer influence and conformity, while later in adolescence distinctiveness tends to be more highly valued, even within relationships primarily based on affinity or similarity.
In the third strand of identity development, at the societal level of factors and processes that affect identity development, peers also play a part. Adolescents share their perspectives and react to societal norms, values, lifestyle choices, and social hierarchies within their peer relationships. These interactions affect identity development by helping teens clarify their own beliefs and preferences. Peers can also be agents for the impact of negative social forces, when they express stigma, prejudice, or discrimination. This can come from other non-affiliated agemates in the social context, and sometimes even from within an individual’s own group.
As it has been in relationships with parents, identification is also a process at work in adolescent peer relationships, and it contributes to identity formation. Identification involves being drawn to and seeing your potential self in admired others, and then emulating their behaviors and characteristics. A good friend or popular peer group member, for example, may serve as a role model. In connection with the burgeoning importance of social aspects of life at this age, adolescent identity development also involves social identification, the valuing and adoption of group behaviors and group characteristics. Teens often adopt the dress, slang, mannerisms, attitudes, and activities of a crowd, which is a larger group or social category within their school context, or they may jointly emulate values and behaviors from a segment of popular culture.
Schools
Although we talk more about schools in the section on education, it is important to emphasize here that, although schools may not always think of themselves as important socializers of identity, they nevertheless play key roles in identity construction. They provide experiences, interaction partners, and messages to children about their academic identities (e.g., how smart they are), interests (e.g., writing, robotics, math, music), and vocational identities (whether they are college bound or able to hold certain jobs). These experiences happen in and out of class, with teachers and classmates, and include after school, extra-curricular, and recreational activities. Schools can facilitate identity development when they offer rich and varied opportunities for exploration that expose children to different communities of learners and do-ers (e.g., community organizers, professionals, scientists, gardeners, plumbers, child-care workers, creative artists). Especially meaningful are extra-curricular activities with real responsibilities and opportunities to take leadership roles.
Middle and high school can be tricky places for the healthy development of all students, but they can be especially problematic for adolescents who do not meet all the narrow societal “norms” endorsed by status hierarchies. Parents and educators are often horrified at the vicious social messages that come from adolescents and target other adolescents who are perceived to be lower on social status hierarchies. However, if you wonder where adolescents get their ammunition, adults should examine the higher-order hierarchies of human worth that are currently endorsed by the larger society at this historical moment. Adolescents may be the “police” who enforce these rigid values, but they are enabled and trained by society at large. It is not an accident that adolescence is a time during which youth start to actively question and sometimes reject the social messages that society prescribes about the value, status, and privileges associated with particular personality characteristics, activities, physical appearances, and status categories.
For many parents, their goals are to get their adolescents out of these school contexts as soon as possible, to protect them from experiences of bullying and peer discrimination, and to find alternative more supportive subcultures for them in other settings (like creative arts centers or workplaces). For some students, online communities allow them to find like-minded friends and peers, and adults also create social messages, such as the “It gets better” campaign aimed at LGBTQ+ youth. The importance of “schools” continues on after high school, since universities often provide a wide range of role models and opportunities for students to explore and engage in identity development activities. Students who attend rigid narrow high schools are often astonished at the freedoms they find at college, where they can discover and explore many facets of their identities through friendships, clubs, and classes. Especially important, they can seek out and choose their own “family” of adults (teachers, advisors, mentors, etc.) and peers, who encourage them to be themselves and love them for exactly who they are.
Link to Learning: How Do I Know What My “Authentic Self” Really Is?
It is not easy to come to know our true selves. By the time we start thinking about these questions in adolescence, we already have many years and hundreds of thousands of experiences incorporated into our multi-faceted view of who we are. These include information from our true selves, but they are wrapped in layers of messages and social evaluations we have experienced and observed.
When people wonder about the nature of their “real” and “true” self, researchers sometimes send them back to photos and memories of their 10-year-old selves. At that age, many of our actual characteristics and interests are at the surface, because we have not yet developed the self-consciousness that tells us to hide features of who we really are in order to fit in. As adults are doing identity work, they can sometimes be aided by photos of their 10-year-old selves, often fully and unself-consciously expressing a range of opinions, interests, and identities, and bursting with confidence. Photos and memories of that time period can serve as guides about what it might mean to be truly authentic.
Other people can “get in touch with themselves” through creative acts, like journaling about your thoughts and feelings, expressing yourself by writing songs or short stories, painting, reading or improvisational theatre. Another interesting activity is the illustrated discovery journal, where you just find photos, drawings, poems, or sayings that speak to you, and put them into a collage, journal, or sketchbook. These images and words, collected for no reason other than you like them, can provide windows that help you get to know yourself better.
Other people get to know themselves through activities. They look for ways to be involved in the world that seem fun and meaningful, like gardening, building houses for Habitat for Humanity, dropping into the community center and taking a class, or volunteering somewhere. The most important aspect here is to look at options until you find something that resonates– something you really want to do. That impulse saying, “Wow, that would be fun, I really want to do that,” can be seen as a message from your true self. And don’t worry, since your true self is developing too, you will have plenty of time to get re-acquainted over and over again!
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